Stealthy like a Ninja (Episode 2)

Last week we looked at some gamer-appropriate headphones for those who want to enjoy all the blood curdling screams and explosions their favorite games have to offer, but don’t want to bother their roommates/family in the process.  This week we will talk about actually conveying all that delicious sound to your headphones, from methods very cheap, to very expensive.

Step 2: Be connected like mating rhinoceros
If you are planning to sit within a few feet of your TV or computer monitor, this step is easy. Just plug your headphones into your TV’s/stereo’s/computer’s headphone jack. Most headphones use a 3.5mm plug, while most stereos have a 1/4″ jack. Conversely, some headphones come with a 1/4″ plug while most TVs/computers sport a 3.5mm jack. So, depending on the size of your “plug”, and the size of the “jack” you want to jam it into, you may need a male to female adapter like this or this. (Many headphones already include an adapter, often hidden somewhere in the packaging.)

The above works fine if you are just hunched over your laptop, but in most console scenarios, you will be sitting at some distance from your TV. You may find you need a male to female extension cable. (The right cable can also replace the above-mentioned adapters.) Cables range in price from the very cheap to the somewhat less cheap. Maybe I am deaf from years of habitually storing dried peas and loose change in my ear canals, but I really cannot tell much difference between the high-end cables and the cheap ones. But if you have freakishly discerning ears, or just like spending money, go ahead and splunge on a higher-end product.

Step 3: Be nonvibratory like dead sea lion
Force feedback is the enemy of the ninja-gamer. I cannot count the number of times I have taken great precautions in muffling my nocturnal gaming, only to have my controller, which I put down during a long cutscene, start shimmying like a lonely housewife’s vibrator and go clattering across the floor (why developers put vibration in cutscenes I have never figured out). If extreme silence is necessary, you should use a non-vibrating controller or turn off force feedback in the game’s or console’s settings.

Step 4: Spend money out the ass like US government bailout package
You have looked around and picked out a pair of headphones you like. Hopefully you’re happy with the sound and are thinking: “Wow! For the price of one or two new games, I have a pair of great headphones that will give me excellent music and gaming audio for years to come. But I spent way too little money! I have far too much cash left over! What should I do?”

Fortunately for you, the world of insane high-end audio equipment has an answer: dedicated headphone amp. If you really want to push your geekdom to the next level, you can pick up a small but obscenely expensive amp that will endow your headphones with ear-ravagingly high volume levels. I use a HeadRoom Total Airhead amp myself. It is convenient because it’s small enough to keep in my lap so I have control over the volume even when I am passed out on the floor in a nutmeg-induced stupor. There are loads of headphone amp makers to choose from, ranging from cottage industry companies to well-known electronics makers. Finally, I should mention here that there are also a lot of 5.1 compatible headphones/headphone amps on the market. I have intentionally skipped these, because I have never tried one out.

Conclusion
Our cheap-ass Japanese apartment is less than spacious and the walls pose no obstacle whatsoever to sound, so the decision to use headphones when gaming/listening to music at night is probably the only thing that has kept my wife from planting a kitchen knife between my shoulder blades. Headphones are also a cheap alternative to those looking to improve their games’ sound, but unable to buy a fully pimped out amp/speaker set-up. Good sound and fewer fights with the girlfriend/boyfriend/family –everyone wins!! I mean Shhhhhhhhhh.